10 Celebrities Who Missed Their Bingo Caller Calling
We all know that while online bingo is becoming ever more popular, visits to bingo halls are declining. And, though there’s nothing we love more than a digital session of our favourite game, that doesn’t mean we want to see traditional bingo clubs disappear completely.
So we have an idea for their revival. One word: celebrities. Ok, three words: celebrity bingo callers.
You only have to think of Barbara Windsor—EastEnders’ Peggy Mitchell turned Queen of Jackpotjoy— to see the positive influence that the backing of a famous person can bring. And if Babs can endorse a brand, why not use the natural skills of other celebrities to liven up the whole gaming experience?
But who to choose? Here are 10 celebrities (real and fictional) who we think would make the very best bingo callers.
Queen Elizabeth II
We’ve already seen that royalty sells, so why not get the real deal on board? The Queen’s already proven herself to be a great sport—remember her performance at the opening ceremony of the 2012 Olympics?—so it’s not too much of a stretch to imagine Her Majesty bingo calling. After all, it must be an arduous business, being the Queen; with all of her official duties, it’s high time Lizzy had some fun too.
Another national treasure: we think David Attenborough is ideal bingo game caller material. Not only could you expect the entire hall-full (because seriously, who would miss an evening hosted by such a legend?) of bingo players to hang onto his every word, but he would surely liven up proceedings with live commentary. We’re quite sure that Sir Attenborough could make detailed observations about any of the 5 types of bingo player at just a single glance.
Coffee goes in; humour comes out. Star of American comedy Gilmore Girls, Lorelai Gilmore is the queen of quips, so you could expect a multitude of rhyming slang; even updated bingo calls would stand no chance against such wit. Entertainment ratings would be through the roof… just so long as you kept her caffeinated.
If you’ve never seen the Channel 4 series of First Dates, then a) where have you been? And b) no, seriously… where?
The programme is meant to be about couples on their (yep, you guessed it) first date, but it would be nothing at all without the charm, warmth and personality of presenter Fred. Surely the same principles can be applied to a session at the bingo club?
Gavin and Stacey’s Nessa (played by the fabulous Ruth Jones) would make a wonderful addition to any bingo hall. Straight-talking Ness would enforce no nonsense fun, and play would be accompanied by omelettes.
There isn’t really anything else to say. You had us at omelettes.
Mary is kind, considerate and has an encouraging word for everyone, no matter how much they mess up. That’s exactly the sort of person we’d love to have around when we’re going through these 10 stages of losing at bingo.
And now that Bezza has quit, amid the GBBO’s move to Channel 4 (we recommend they change it to the Great British Bingo Bake Off, in order to keep the show alive), maybe she’ll find her true calling and end up in our local bingo hall. What? We can dream, can’t we?
Because bingo + an evening listening to that accent = the stuff dreams are made of.
If you’ve seen any of the Bridget Jones films, you’ll be well aware that public speaking isn’t exactly her forté. But we reckon a friendly, intimate setting like a bingo hall would give Renée Zellweger’s character a chance to shine.
And because we’re not totally selfless, there’s plenty in it for us, too. Like the fact that she’d be totally relatable, utterly hilarious and bring with her a whole array of accidents, just waiting to happen. Actually, scrap the caller idea… can’t she just be our best friend?
No stranger to presenting an evening of fun, think of all the gazillion stories Graham Norton would be able to tell us about our favourite singers, actors and entertainers. Sure, he may get distracted from the actual calling part of bingo calling, and we may get distracted from the actual bingo part of bingo, but details, details…
Imagine the ex-President of the USA hosting your regular bingo night…
He’s authoritative, inspirational, and possesses just the right amount of cheese. In fact, that’s plenty of qualities a great bingo caller needs right there!
We hear Barack’s on the market too; word on the street is that the poor man’s out of a job!
Let us know who you'd love to see hosting a bingo night, or have a go at being the best bingo caller yourself with our bingo number generator, which includes a simulated caller and downloadable cards set.